i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
