PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize