There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
