Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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