I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
