I got chris browned last night
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here