remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
