I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
