Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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