i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
