perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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