Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
