I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize