I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
