Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
