i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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