I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
