he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
