I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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