Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
