the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
