I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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