Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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