Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
