we have officially lost it.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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