You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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