I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize