he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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