No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
