Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
