we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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