I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
