I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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