I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
are you so shy because you have an std?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
