I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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