Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He did a backflip because drugs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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