You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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