Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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