So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
