yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
