We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
