I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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