is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
