He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
