We got so high we made milksteak
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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