All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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