I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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