It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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