doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize