38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
