I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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