dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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