You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
