drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize