You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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