Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
