So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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